Volunteer Missionary Movement (VMM-USA)    |     home

11.01.05  Tuesdays Reflection

The gospel readings on Sunday and Monday (Matthew 23:1-12, Luke 14:12-14)

both speak to our tendency to want recognition, to "grade" ourselves and

others.

I struggle with this "grading". My three sisters and I are very good at it.

We just can't accept that each one is special with a unique combination of

gifts. I want to say that I do not judge others and myself vis-a-vis others

but still I find myself putting people into categories.

Quite a while ago, I responded to an ad for personal stories that would

"celebrate the lives and experiences of women who have struggled with

challenges, and yet live rich and joyful lives."  When an avalanche of

entries focused on the challenges of domestic violence and abuse, the

editors decided to focus on this and subtitle the book: Standing Together:

Women Speak Out About Violence and Abuse. When asked if I still wanted my

contribution to be published, I hesitated. What would people I knew think?

What would they infer?  Then I said what all of the 101 women said: Maybe my

story will help someone else. Some were not able to use their real name and

will not be able to be there when the book is launched on Thursday. Some are

very well known like Colleen Klein, the wife of Alberta Premier Ralph Klein

talking about her first marriage. She recognized the role of the abuser: If

we are to end the violence against women and children, we must heal the

abuser as well as the abused . . . . Abusers aren't born."

I am part of a group of women with courage. We are mainly aboriginal, poor,

abused as children. Our paths have been different but we cannot judge the

amount of courage it has taken (continues to take) to break the cycle of

abuse. I am proud of my 100 sisters and proud of myself and I will continue

to avoid judging knowing that only God can judge what is in the heart.

Cecily